Friday 16 March 2018

A More Natural Toilet Training Alternative

This is a copy of our blog on the Back to the Wild website.
I get so many comments when people see my daughter wearing undies or sitting on the potty - one that often comes up is “oh she’s so clever!’. But the truth is - your babies are just as clever too! We just don’t get taught how to nurture their knowledge of elimination!

One thing that never sat well with me was nappies. Especially not nappies for 3 + years. I thought that there had to be a better way!
Sure, cloth was a given, as I didn’t like the idea of the environmental impact of disposables, but surely the idea that a child has absolutely no control of their bladder till they’re 3 or 4 can’t be right!

And my main question - what do people in countries without nappies do?!

Through my brief research before Bethany was born, I came across a thing called Elimination Communication - or EC. Pretty much it's all about learning your child's natural cues before they need to eliminate, and then putting them on the potty.

I'd read that you could cue keywords, and that then the baby would start associating those words with the need to eliminate. We didn't really know what we were doing, but decided to just say “psssss” every time Bethany peed and “mmmm” every time she pooped - or at least when we noticed - from birth.

We did try to hold her above the sink and get her to pee using this method as a baby but it never worked for us. Though I did try only about twice before deciding that it was too much effort. But we did keep up the cue words, hoping that it would help one day in the future!

At five months old we got a potty for her.  apparently I've been potty trained from 6 months old so we decided why not give it a shot. We put her on the potty said “pssss” and what do you know? She peed!!

potty training elimination communication baby nz
Pulling over for a potty stop on the side of the road at a few months old.
We laughed - this must be a coincidence!! But we tried a few more times, and sure enough most of the time she actually peed.  Our babies are so much smarter than what we give them credit for.

So from then on we started putting her on the potty at every single nappy change and when she woke up from naps. We did also start giving her more nappy free time to learn when it was that she was going, and to see if she had any cues before she went.

We started off just putting an old cloth nappy under her, but soon once she was more mobile I decided to stitch some undies up for her to keep any poo explosions inside - and off our carpet mainly!!!!
The undies were excellent!! they were thick enough to hold one pee, and could contain poo also thanks to the elastic around the edges. They actually probably did a better job at containing poo than nappies - and if she peed - we knew straight away and just switched the undies. It was also good because she knew that she had peed because she could feel the wet sensation, and we would tell her that we were giving her clean undies. So she was making the link between peeing, and feeling the wet.

baby undies elimination communication
Tiny baby undies
We soon realised that she was going pee every time she woke up and every approximately 45 minutes after that. We actually noticed that she never peed during naps!

At night time I sometimes tried to put her on the potty but it's a lot of effort in the middle of the night when you're tired and you don't even want to get out of bed! But I knew she wasn't going during naps! And that's when I decided to do something crazy - I just took the nappy right off!Yep you read that right I actually just decided that she was going to sleep with no net is on at 7 months old

Because at night time, every time she needed to go was usually quite obvious. She would start tossing, turning, and just being generally unsettled. During the day there is so many other distractions, but at night it's quite easy to know when they need to go.

With the nappy off I had no excuses. I couldn't just ignore it, because I didn’t want to be changing the bedsheets in the middle of the night!
- Oh, and I should probably say that Bethany sleeps in our bed so it was quite easy to keep an eye on her, but the risk of wet bed sheets was a big deal!

And sure enough, since then we've only had an accident at night time a couple of times and that was always when she wasn't well.
She was never a good sleeper and she actually started sleeping much better after we started taking her potty in the night. I think the real reason that she had been waking up and tossing and turning on the boob like crazy was actually because she needed to pee! Like this, instead she would go pee on the potty while on the boob and then go straight back to sleep! Amazing!

But this I thought was the crazy bit - babies don’t actually want to sit in wet or dirty nappies! Bethany definitely prefered to go in the potty if it was an option! And if she was in any form of baby carrier - she wouldn’t actually pee! And I can’t believe I didn’t realise that till she was almost half a year old! So yes, they do have some control over their bladders - they can’t hold it in long, but the myth that they have absolutely no control is definitely a myth!

Yes, there is the common saying of “but they’re not ready!” - but I was shocked when I found out where the myth of ‘readiness’ came from - turns out - when disposable nappies first came out in the 1950’s, the companies were having trouble selling them. Parents didn’t want to “put their babies in paper”. So one of the companies paid a doctor to come up with the ‘readiness’ guidelines. Till then, almost all children were out of nappies before they turned 2, but now parents were waiting longer, and thus they switched to the convenience of disposables to keep up with the laundry!!!

potty training elimination communication baby hiking nz
Pottying wherever we go!
Some people do EC only occasionally, some part time, or you can take the plunge and go nappy free full time! There’s heaps of benefits to even just doing it occasionally:
  • Less nappy rash! Yes, we do have an awesome nappy rash barrier balm, but going nappy free more often will do your babies skin wonders!
  • The toilet won’t be an unfamiliar concept - they’ve grown up knowing that it’s the preference to go pee in there.
  • Less disposables in landfill! Or less washing if you’re using cloth! And wow a poo explosion is so much less messy if it’s contained to the potty rather than all up your babies back!!!
  • A better connection with your baby! - Your baby tells you when they need to eat, and you help them - it can be the same way with pottying!
  • More freedom to move! - No saggy nappy between the legs means your baby can run around more freely! Plus those little baby bottoms are too cute!
  • And the added bonus?! They might be fully out of nappies a year or two before their peers!
I don’t like it when people say I’ve potty trained Bethany - because we haven’t really - she’s trained us! Trained us to listen to her cues & be in tune with her. She can’t be out without us, and still go pee by herself - but we can assist her - like we help her get dressed, eat, get down off high places if she gets stuck, etc.

And the other comment we tend to get is “that sounds like a lot of work!” - and some days yes I do question myself! But then I remember - when’s the last time I changed a pooey nappy? How light is my bag when I go out? And how much washing have I saved myself? Because changing a poo nappy is definitely way messier… and way more effort!

We’re at the point now where she does sometimes go sit on the potty on her own - amazing! Except she can’t pull her pants down on her own, and if we don’t notice fast enough that she’s sitting on the potty… well… she still needs a clean pair of pants after that!

It’s great leaving the house nowadays - take a spare pair of undies, pants and a wetbag - just in case, but no bulky nappies! And this is perfect for adventuring with the baby!

Have you tried EC? Do you think you'll try after reading this post?
hiking elimination communication baby view potty training nz
Still my all time fave photo of Bethany on the potty!


St James Walkway - with a Baby!

This is a copy of our blog post over at the Back to the Wild website.

When Bethany was very young, we took her on a few overnight hikes, but time & winter got away on us faster than we’d intended! And it wasn’t until Bethany was 12 months old that we did her first real multi-day hike outside of the womb. So we decided to look for something we could do over Labour Weekend.

A bit of looking at the DOC maps, and we decided that the St James Walkway fit the bill!  
Long days yes, but no big hills, and nothing extreme like what we were used to! So perfect for the baby!

My mother in law was also staying with us from overseas, so we decided to invite her out to experience a bit of a backcountry NZ tramping experience too. And that gave us the added bonus of another adult to split the carrying load with!

Now, we already knew from all our overnight & day trips that Bethany LOVES the carrier. So long days weren’t an issue - and we are pretty fast walkers, so as long as we went fast while Bethany is awake & happy or sleeping, we could then take lots of big breaks when she needed a feed etc. And still cover up to around 9 hours DOC time walking a day.

So we decided to split the days up as follows:

Day 1: Lewis Pass - Ada Pass Hut ~ 10 KM
Day 2: Ada Pass Hut - Anne Hut ~ 23.5 KM
Day 3: Anne Hut - Magdalen Hut ~26 KM
Day 4: Magdalen Hut - Boyle Village ~12 KM

Making for a total of about 68KM in 4 days. And we still had some flexibility with staying at other huts on the way if the weather turned sour, or if Bethany wasn't in the best mood!

The organising list was pretty similiar to what we were used to:
Food, shelter, clothing.

Food:
We dehydrated our own food, as we normally do, just packing a bit extra as I would be breastfeeding, and Bethany would eat a bit too. For lunches we took dehydrated food, and rehydrated it in the thermos with a bit of boiling water while we walked, to save us needing to pull the gas cooker out at lunch.
For snacks, we had some apples, & capsicum for Bethany, and same plus regular snacks for ourselves. Oh, and we had about half a kilo of prunes. The snack of champions. And Bethany's favourite snack. We literally had to hide the packet from her, and she would start digging through every time she caught a slight glimpse!
Shelter:
We were planning on staying in DOC huts all the way round, but we did take a two man tent, and camping mats with us - just incase the huts were full, we didn’t want to be sleeping outside with a baby & no shelter!
The main problem though is the weight of the tent. At 3kg, it's not exactly very light to carry when you're already carrying an extra human, and all the extra humans gear!! I do have my eyes set on a lovely cuban fiber tent - under 1kg!! One day!!
Clothing:
Merino for the baby - and lots of it. All the clothing we took for Bethany was either merino, polyporp, or fleece - plus the waterproof layers. Bethany’s carrier has a wonderful rain shelter, so when it rained, she was toastier in there than all of us, despite her not doing any walking!!

Nappies requires a whole blog post on its own! But when people asked - what nappies did you use - the answer was mainly - NONE! We did take a couple of cloth nappies for each day, as I wasn’t sure how she would do, but B ended up in the same nappy from when we left Christchurch, till when we got back to Christchurch. Instead, we lugged around her potty - which actually weighs less than a couple nappies.
We use cloth nappies at home, and because of the “Leave only footprints, take only photos” principle, we knew if we did take disposables, we would have to take them home to dispose of anyway. But with cloth we could rinse them & dry over our packs while we walked if need be, and then re-use them. So the decision was easy.

We made sure to take plenty of sunscreen though, but I did make the mistake of forgetting the insect repellent - ARGH!!! But the sunscreen was great! Every time we stopped, Bethany wanted to run around - and the sunscreen meant that we didn’t have to worry about the gorgeous little naked bottom of hers getting burnt while she was having nappy free running about time in the grass!

The walk itself went great! We made use of the shuttle service through the Boyle Village Outdoor Centre, and they dropped us of in Lewis Pass, and took our car back to the Boyle Village ready for us to pick up in a few days time.

Bethany loves being in the carrier! We pointed out all the different types of trees, plants, leaves, birds, and everything we could see to her - but she was usually quicker than us at spotting them!

tramping hiking baby nz river rocks how
Blue potty bag attached onto the carrier
hiking with a baby water nz
Bethany drinking from the hydration pack
Whenever she was thirsty, she would start wriggling as she spotted me drinking, and I’d pass the hydration bladder nozzle back to her - she still didn’t know how to drink out of a sippy cup, but a hydration pack is no problem!!
We stopped and had a potty try every hour or two. And normally she went - or held it in for the next stop! We would then have a quick feed & play & run, and then get back up & going again. Sometimes when she was ready to go, she would even walk up to the carrier & say “Up?”

hiking tramping baby potty training
A break to stretch the legs
Hiking tramping baby potty water break
Potty, boob & water break
Day one and two were great! The weather was on our side! We made good time to Christopher Hut on day two, but were a bit late to Anne Hut, as we had a couple big stop and play breaks with B.
On arrival at Anne Hut though, it was packed! But you gotta love the kiwi sprit - one group that had stayed the night with us at Ada Pass the night before had saved us bottom bunks! And they had told everyone that it was for "the very well behaved baby" that was coming!

On day three though, it started absolutely BUCKETING down! I stepped a little funny, but thought nothing of it, and continued. We walked as fast as we could, trying to make it out without getting too much more wet. When we took breaks, they were usually in sheltered bits of bush so that we stayed dry.
And there was B just sitting up in the carrier, still pointing out the world passing her by, and all nice and toasty in her warm soft shell pants, fleece jersey, and all her winter woolies underneath, plus the tramping carrier water cover that kept all the cold out!

That evening, as we got to Magdalen Hut, a 6 bunk hut, we counted 5 people already there… good thing we brought that tent!!! So hubby pitched the tent, while I looked after B inside the hut & made dinner. But far out that ankle was now killing me! The adrenaline had worn off, and the pain was starting to really come through. Every step was quite painful!

We had a wonderful sleep in the tent. Bethany slept well in the tent, and in the morning, we got up to luckily a less sore ankle. Sweet. It was only a few hours out, we could quickly make it out, and get some lunch on the way home.
hiking tramping baby carrier rain nz
Hiking in the rain
But once we started walking, anything that involved going uphill even just slightly hurt a lot. We eventually re-arranged bags so that I didn’t have to have any load on. Hubby carried B on his back & the lightest pack on his front. That didn’t really help much! I still was struggling to hobble along!

We’d been going for a few hours from the hut now, and it was starting to rain. Every now & then I’d get asked - “Are you sure you don’t want to push the button yet?” by someone in the group - referring to the Personal Locator Beacon (PLB) we were carrying.

B was still happy as, but I wasn’t!! I learnt that we hadn’t even covered a quarter of the route to the carpark! And after much internal debate of whether it was justifiable, I pipped up & said “OK. Let’s push the button.” So we walked a little further to a clearing, where we set up camp, and re-read the instructions on the PLB, and hubby pushed it… it felt quite scary actually pushing it!!
So we hid out in the rain, me, hubby, baby, Mum in law, and a guy & his grandson that had decided to stay back & help us when they saw me hobbling along the path!
B was still happy, having cuddles, eating food - which we decided it was time to eat now, and having boob.
I on the other hand had already been getting quite cold while walking, as my shoes were drenched, and I couldn’t walk very fast. I did have the emergency blanket around me, but I was FREEZING! And starting to shiver.

hiking baby plb rescue mission
Our shelter set-up waiting for the helicopter to come
hiking baby helicopter landing
Waving the chopper down
hiking baby helicopter landing rescue
And they're landing!

And after only an hour, we heard the sound of a helicopter approaching! And this is why we carry a PLB! B got quite the fright from the sound of the helicopter landing. While I was now that cold I couldn’t speak! Not anything that made sense anyway!

So B got her first helicopter ride at 12 months old to Christchurch Hospital from the St James Walkway. Well, that’s an adventure to tell her about when she’s older!

The diagnosis? An injured achilles, and hypothermia. With a 31 degree body temp at its lowest!

According to the helicopter pilots we did everything right. We were organised, and that’s what they’re there for - to do the rest when something like this happens. I’m just glad that the something happened to me, and not Bethany!! But in terms of risk - she was so cozy nothing was likely to happen to her anyway!
We actually brought the PLB while I was pregnant - my thinking had been - what if we go on a hike - and end up having a baby in the bush!! But I wouldn't go out without it now. Especially not if you are carrying or walking with a baby or child! 
Well, luckily the ankle did heal up quickly - so many more walks to go on!

The main lesson I realised though was that into the colder weather, B would need some ‘hut pants’. Something she could wear outside the hut when there is wind, but that is moisture wicking & would still allow her to pee in the grass if she needed! Saving us nappies & pant drying! Stay tuned for our next adventure where we have the pants!